I haven't posted for over a week because my father in law got very sick and passed away on March 15. He died from complications of COPD, emphysema and congestive heart. I want to tell you about him.
First of all, he loved his family. He wasn't touchy, feely, huggy...but he loved us. I think he always enjoyed a good hug. But we had to come hug him. He wouldn't come hug us first. He told my husband once that I was special and he should be good to me. I never let my husband forget that. I think it's because I have an engineering degree and work in the same defense industry he did for so many years. We had a quiet connection...mutual admiration as my mom told me. I made him his favorite peanut butter pie for any and every occasion...any excuse I could think of, I would make him that pie. He probably shouldn't have had it, but I figured if I could give him something he enjoyed, then I would do it. I usually made two so he could freeze one and have it later.
When I tried to take his picture, most of the time he would make a face at me. So it was nice to have those pictures in his slideshow. It showed a different, funny side of him. You wouldn't think he had a funny side because he was always sitting by watching everyone. He didn't say much until he was ready to add something meaty to our conversation. Or he would tell us a joke he heard. I was hugging my husband once and afterward, I sat down beside my father in law and he said to me You love him, don't you? I said Yeah, he's ok and I winked at him. He just kind of chuckled, but I know he appreciated how much I love his son. That was my father in law, quietly watching us.
He loved my boys. They used to say Papa doesn't say much, but when he talks you listen. My boys enjoyed engaging him in conversation over politics (that was a fun topic) and what they were in to...especially college and their military experiences or telling him the fun things they did with their friends. I think he was proud that his grandsons are both in the military. I added my favorite picture of my boys with their Papa below. The smile on my father in law's face says it all.
He loved his granddaughters too. He would do anything for those girls. My young niece and her Papa had a special bond. She read him books, told him about her day, hugged and kissed him and told him how much she loved him. My daughter and he had a special bond too. She was a little difficult at times, but her Papa was always there for her...ready to lend a helping hand.
I miss my father in law. I wish life wasn't so busy that I had more time to do more things with him. I think he and I could have done some fun projects together. One time while in graduate school, I told him I didn't know how to use MathCad. So he asked me for a copy (free trial version) and loaded it on his computer. The next time I was over he said he used it. But I had moved on and was busy with the kids and school, life I guess, and I never took the time to sit with him. I know he would have enjoyed teaching me. I'm very sorry about that. I guess what I'm taking from the experience of losing him is that I wish I would have taken more time, set better priorities, not been so selfish and caught up in my life...taken the time to enjoy his company.
As he got sick and was in the hospital and rehab, when I'd leave, I'd kiss the top of his head and tell him to behave. He'd say No! Then when he was frustrated because the nurses wouldn't listen to him and he knew he was right...I'd kiss the top of his head and tell him Give them hell. He'd nod his head because talking took too much energy and oxygen. We were all there with him, except my oldest son who is on deployment, when he passed. I hope he knew how much we all loved him. I hope he felt us praying over him and telling him it was ok to let go. That we'd be ok. But we miss him terribly.
First of all, he loved his family. He wasn't touchy, feely, huggy...but he loved us. I think he always enjoyed a good hug. But we had to come hug him. He wouldn't come hug us first. He told my husband once that I was special and he should be good to me. I never let my husband forget that. I think it's because I have an engineering degree and work in the same defense industry he did for so many years. We had a quiet connection...mutual admiration as my mom told me. I made him his favorite peanut butter pie for any and every occasion...any excuse I could think of, I would make him that pie. He probably shouldn't have had it, but I figured if I could give him something he enjoyed, then I would do it. I usually made two so he could freeze one and have it later.
When I tried to take his picture, most of the time he would make a face at me. So it was nice to have those pictures in his slideshow. It showed a different, funny side of him. You wouldn't think he had a funny side because he was always sitting by watching everyone. He didn't say much until he was ready to add something meaty to our conversation. Or he would tell us a joke he heard. I was hugging my husband once and afterward, I sat down beside my father in law and he said to me You love him, don't you? I said Yeah, he's ok and I winked at him. He just kind of chuckled, but I know he appreciated how much I love his son. That was my father in law, quietly watching us.
He loved my boys. They used to say Papa doesn't say much, but when he talks you listen. My boys enjoyed engaging him in conversation over politics (that was a fun topic) and what they were in to...especially college and their military experiences or telling him the fun things they did with their friends. I think he was proud that his grandsons are both in the military. I added my favorite picture of my boys with their Papa below. The smile on my father in law's face says it all.
He loved his granddaughters too. He would do anything for those girls. My young niece and her Papa had a special bond. She read him books, told him about her day, hugged and kissed him and told him how much she loved him. My daughter and he had a special bond too. She was a little difficult at times, but her Papa was always there for her...ready to lend a helping hand.
I miss my father in law. I wish life wasn't so busy that I had more time to do more things with him. I think he and I could have done some fun projects together. One time while in graduate school, I told him I didn't know how to use MathCad. So he asked me for a copy (free trial version) and loaded it on his computer. The next time I was over he said he used it. But I had moved on and was busy with the kids and school, life I guess, and I never took the time to sit with him. I know he would have enjoyed teaching me. I'm very sorry about that. I guess what I'm taking from the experience of losing him is that I wish I would have taken more time, set better priorities, not been so selfish and caught up in my life...taken the time to enjoy his company.
As he got sick and was in the hospital and rehab, when I'd leave, I'd kiss the top of his head and tell him to behave. He'd say No! Then when he was frustrated because the nurses wouldn't listen to him and he knew he was right...I'd kiss the top of his head and tell him Give them hell. He'd nod his head because talking took too much energy and oxygen. We were all there with him, except my oldest son who is on deployment, when he passed. I hope he knew how much we all loved him. I hope he felt us praying over him and telling him it was ok to let go. That we'd be ok. But we miss him terribly.
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